Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The World of Work

About a week before school let out, Aden had one last field trip.  She got to participate in a large scale Junior Achievement "Work" simulation.  The kids were taught how to manage money by using a checkbook and debit card and do some form of job.  Which meant a week or so before the trip everyone had to apply for the different jobs available.

Aden wanted to work in one of the restaurants.  Even though she wouldn't be cooking for real, she likes the idea of making things for people and organizing that kind of activity.  She held out hope for the job she wanted up until the day before the field trip when the assignments were given.  And then Aden found out she was going to be a bank teller.

She was really depressed about it.

I started off by telling her that the good part about her job was that she would get to see everyone.  Everybody in every job would have to visit the bank.  And that depending on the people she was with and details of the job she didn't know yet, it would probably be a lot more fun than she expected.

And then I told her something I'd never considered talking to my children about before, even though it seems obvious: People seldom end up in the jobs they want.


We tell our children to strive toward the things that interest them, and they can see that I'm happy to run a violin store and that their uncles work in science and my parents had an art gallery for forty years.  All of those things involve elements that are still hard and frustrating (bookkeeping, grant writing, difficult customers) but are in essence things we enjoy.  However, the path to those careers has been varied and complicated and littered with jobs we took because we needed them, not because we wanted them.  I had a summer job on a road crew once.  I've waitressed and prepared food and worked behind sales counters and put in time at a factory.  To help put me through school Ian made pizza, did a lot of work in hotels, and--I found myself telling Aden for the first time--worked in a bank.

Aden had no idea.

The truth is, I told her, I doubted any of the tellers at our bank would say that was the job they dreamed of while growing up.  It was possible, but unlikely.  All of them probably imagined something else, but then rent had to be paid and health insurance was needed, and the next thing they knew, they were applying simply for any job available and were happy to get one.  And that for many people that works out okay.  Most of the jobs out there that need to be filled are not in and of themselves particularly interesting things to do.  But a sense of purpose and doing your part and interacting with others and using those resources to support your other interests outside of work can make it all just fine.

The things we want and the things we don't both have elements that are unexpected.  We never know for sure where we will find joy or disappointment.  We can only control what we, ourselves, bring to any situation.

So I told Aden to go in with an open mind to her bank teller job and see what she could make of it.  No, she didn't choose it, but that was more realistic than anything else that could have happened, and she should learn from it.

And she had fun.

Turns out all but one person (the one who applied to be the CFO) working in the bank had hoped for other things and were disappointed not to get them.  But they pulled together and did their jobs well.  Aden said it was interesting how the work went in waves, where everything would be quiet for about forty minutes at a time, and then people in other jobs would have a break and rush to the bank all at once.  She did like getting to see so many people, and she liked her nice steady paycheck that she used to buy odd little things at some of the pretend stores.  (She also got a coupon/coin for a free frozen custard that we need to redeem before the summer is up.)  She liked the people she worked with, had a little time to read her book, enjoyed the lunch she packed for herself, and came home happy.

I really like being at my violin store.  Five years in and the number of bad days there I can count on just one hand.  There are certainly times I'd rather be somewhere else but for the most part where I work is a space designed around me and what I enjoy.  I'm fortunate, but it also took a long time and a lot of hard work to get here.

Talking to Aden about not getting the job she wanted got me thinking about all the little things that I liked about all the jobs I've ever had.  For instance, my days working at the art supply store in college.  I would not want to go back and relive any of it, but I liked the quiet walk to work on Sunday mornings where I would pick up donuts for myself and my fellow art-counter sufferer on the way.  I liked my 30% discount on supplies and still have some of the things I bought there that I wouldn't have been able to afford otherwise.  I still laugh thinking about some of the jokes we told to make the hours pass more pleasantly.  And having dealt with so many kinds of customers still serves me well today.  Time is wasted only if you choose to waste it.  Every odd job I've ever had helped get me to where I am now, and I love this place.

In my mind there are two basic ways to aim at having a job: Either you manage to make a living at what you would choose to do anyway, or if that doesn't pay enough to survive, you find something that you can live with that enables you to do what you like.  I have a friend who was a fellow music major in school who announced to me one day that violin was fun, but he was going into law because he'd also like to own a boat.  If you are a poet, nobody expects you to make a living at it, so going into retail could be a fine choice.  Even if all you need your job to do is provide you enough security to have a home you enjoy and space to relax, I think that's great.  I'm glad I've found a way to do what I like and pay the bills while doing it.  (To all those who made fun of my music degree as a ticket to starvation may I just say HA.)

I will be very interested to see what kind of work my children end up in as adults.  They could be anything at this point.  But I know they will have jobs they didn't dream of along the way, and I think there's a lot to be learned from that.  As long as they approach their work honestly and always find a way to do what interests them regardless, their lives will be fine.  Even if they end up, without expecting to, in a bank.

18 comments:

  1. I am so not doing what I thought I'd be doing 20, 10 or even 5 years ago. I made a job switch (within my company) a few weeks ago and I certainly am not that happy about the switch if I based it on the client. BUT, I'm using analytic skills that I know I'm good at and that has to be enough for know. We need my income to maintain the life we have in terms of tuition, vacations, sports, etc.

    If Aidan eventuallly becomes a herpetologist I think it will be one of my happiest moments.

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    1. I always think it's interesting to find ways to combine talents and interests. Like my brother the entomologist doing scientific illustration and model making for museums. I bet there are more ways to use herpetology than are apparent at first glance. Just like going into instrument making was an interesting tangent to my original music degree.

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  2. I liked "Time is wasted only if you choose to waste it." So true, and I'm so impressed that you get to have meaningful conversations with your kids. I have those in my head, but they never get articulated quite that well.

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    1. I can't imagine anyone as good as you are with words not passing on all kinds of useful things to your kids. I'm sure you do it so often you just don't even notice anymore.

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  3. What a great thing to have a conversation about. My daughter (at 12) wants to be a spy. So we've had some conversations about how many different skills could be useful to the FBI and CIA. (In addition to the ninja skills that are so much fun.)

    I had lots of jobs to pay the bills while I went to college and grad school, some of which I really enjoyed because of the people. And I've ended up where I wanted to end up, but even then it isn't quite what I thought I wanted. I teach geology because that's what my degrees are in, but in the years of teaching I've really found that I like teaching a lot more than geology :-) Sometimes I think about how fun it would be to go back and get some teaching degrees, maybe do some research in that area. But I like my job and life enough that I don't really want to change directions at this point.

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    1. I love geology! I wrote a post at Babble a long time ago about our "Rock of the Week" summer. (The post is here but the pictures are gone which is annoying: http://www.babble.com/cs/holding-down-the-fort/2010/05/18/rock-of-the-week/ )

      I often wonder how much we would surprise ourselves if we could go back to an earlier point and tell our teenaged selves where we end up. Our younger selves would probably be appalled, but it's hard to appreciate how things progress when taken out of context.

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  4. If it was me who said that, I'm still spooked by your ability to quote me 20-25 years later. :) Guess I managed to combine law and some time on the water in a way even I hadn't anticipated. But that's part of your point, no? We never really know where our careers will take us. But we know we'll probably be surprised at least a few times.
    Mark

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    1. Oh yeah, if you have a picture of you on the ODOT crew, post it!
      M

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    2. I don't think I have any photos from that summer. I should look. I would love a picture of me with my stop sign and my work boots! That was a hot couple of months to be with ODOT. Over 100 degrees most days, and the tar on the streets actually melted.

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    3. Oh, and that's totally you, and you would be horrified at some of the conversations I remember. (Heh)

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    4. Can't wait for that blog post. Now I'll never be able to run for governor. Ha!

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  5. This post is so true. I must have had several different jobs, and haven't achieved my "dream" job (and probably will never--not to be a debbie downer). I think that is the problem in today's schools is that people tell the kids that if they work hard in school then they will get the job they want right out of school instead of telling them that sometimes it takes time to get there. :)

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    1. Agreed. I don't ever think it's right to shoot down people's dreams, but people should be prepared for what a realistic path toward that means.

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  6. Oh, the jobs I did to put myself through college. I worked on campus at the information desk (a fun job for a freshman who knew nothing about the college!), cleaned house and was a "waitress" at fancy parties for a professor (I also walked his dogs when he and his wife were out of town and cleaned his mother's house--sort of a Jill of all trades for him), waited tables and worked on the mowing crew for the local school division back home (to name a few).

    No, they are definitely NOT jobs I would have said I *wanted* to do, but they paid the bills and that was important. I also learned so much from each of those positions and have happy memories from each one.

    I honestly can't wait to have this conversation with my girls because it's a wonderful one! :o)

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  7. Any word on the mouse? Three times we've had geckos lose in the house. Once it was for 3 months and he must have lived off of the bugs in the house. Aidan at least probably had a bug free room :)

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    1. Oh, that mouse is so gone. He's in his natural habitat again, chewing holes in our house somewhere. We have the live trap and the wheel out in the dining room but Tempo is gone gone gone.

      I have decided to name a new line of student instruments at our store after him, though. The violins I bought in the white that I varnished at the workshop a couple of months ago are almost done, and I need labels for them, so we will soon be introducing the "Korinthian Violins TEMPO brand violins" to the world. I'll draw a tiny mouse on the corner of the label and Tempo will live on for us that way.

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  8. I connected with this post personally. I had my dream job and lost it. I am now doing something I don't love but fits my life and pays the bills for right now. I'm sad and feel unfulfilled, but take solace in knowing I am providing for my kids the best I can. Thanks for reminding me that there is dignity in that too. I'd still like to have a job I love, but am not quite sure what that is right now.
    Dyann

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