Open Doors

This past weekend was the return of Doors Open Milwaukee.  We weren't able to venture outside our own neighborhood for it this year, but it was still fun.  Although the day got off to a rocky start.

Ian has been out of town for a week doing Army things.  I'm surprised how much the stress of that can still get to me.  I think of myself as a fairly calm parent, not prone to fits very often.  But a lot of my ability to be that way has to do with sharing the burden and having someone to laugh with and getting a break.  Remove the other parent from the equation and my mind becomes a constant scramble of responsibilities, always sure I'm forgetting something, and I become far less patient.

The weekdays with Ian gone have been complicated.  Last Thursday in particular was impressively tricky where I had to work, I arranged for the kids to walk themselves to the violin store after school rather than be picked up, I would feed them there, we'd head to the school for the open house right after work, then go straight from there to the Y for Mona's swim team practice.  Sure the dog wasn't getting walked until pretty late in this scenario, but it was the best I could do.

The Amazing Milwaukee Race On Bikes 2!

This was the second year for The Amazing Milwaukee Race On Bikes.  My husband and I (team name: The Slow Spokes) biked it together both times, and this year was much more fun.  Last year was grueling, and we were proud simply to finish.  This year they worked out some of the bugs, shortened the courses to more manageable lengths, and there were no giant cloudbursts to contend with.

I was not optimistic going in.  Not that we ever train for such events, but normally I swim almost every day and I try to be active where I can, and the two weeks prior to the race were like an anti-training campaign.  If I were trying to hurt my chances of doing well in a 15 mile bike race, I couldn't have come up with a better routine than one of sitting in a nursing home with my dad and subsisting on Twizzlers, bagels, takeout, and pie.  I got little sleep, drove the whole day before to get into town to do the race, and didn't even know where my tire pump was until an hour before we left.  I did not like our chances.

So how did the anti-training campaign work out?

'Tis the Season (For Some Wonderful Music) (Babble)

Look where I got to perform this weekend:

(In the light of the morning rehearsal)

(At the end of the midnight mass)
I was asked by a friend if I would play the midnight mass on Christmas Eve at the Basilica of St Josaphat here in Milwaukee.  It’s only about a mile from our house, and I knew the kids would be done opening presents long before I had to go back to play the mass again on Christmas morning, so I agreed to the gig.  The place is simply beautiful.



What a wonderful experience to play with talented musicians in such a setting.  The orchestra was up in the choir loft with the singers and organ, which is nice because you can concentrate on the music without feeling like you are on display.

When we’d finish a piece on a big chord of strings and trumpets and timpani the sound would reverberate for at least another full bar afterward.  It was amazing, and I wish my family could have been there.  My parents in particular would have loved it.

In some ways performing music is just a job that involves parking and lugging things around and concentration and just plain work, but what marvelous work!  (Although for the choir director/organist who has to lead everyone and also play music with his feet, I think it was less marvelous and just plain work.  But I’m a viola player!  I play my part when I’m supposed to and Sudoku the rest of the time.)  Christmas Eve is a magical night to get to make great music, even for those of us who don’t claim the holiday in a religious sense.

The line between the personal and the sacred is an issue I think about a lot during this season.

I believe each of us is tasked with deciding for ourselves what is meaningful and right and true in this life.  Even if you subscribe to a particular religion, you have to weigh all the information you are provided from many sources and use your own judgment about how to interpret all of it.  Each of us has to come to peace with what we think our place is in the universe on our own no matter what markers we choose to guide us.

Are there really people who get worked up about others using more inclusive phrases like ‘happy holidays’ this time of year?  I wonder about people who would be so insecure in their own belief systems that they find offense where none was intended.  I had people wishing me Merry Christmas at my store the whole week of Hanukkah and I appreciated it, even though it didn’t make a lot of sense.  It was meant with good will and I accepted it in that light.  I’m mystified by people who are supposedly upset by the phrase ‘happy holidays’ because when I was growing up it was shorthand for Christmas and New Year’s and they could simply take it in that light if it suits them.  But it’s a handy term to use when you don’t know what people believe, and that’s respectful in my opinion.  No one should be using the phrase ‘Merry Christmas’ as a verbal weapon or a means to intimidate people.  How is that a reflection on what the season is supposed to be about?  Thankfully in my own community this does not seem to be the case and I think that whole controversy is constructed for TV ratings and not of concern to actual people.

I myself am not Christian, but I like having a tree and a tradition of gift giving.  It’s part of my heritage and it’s fun and it makes my kids happy.  My father’s side of the family is Jewish, my mother was raised Christian Science but her father was raised Catholic, my sister-in-law is from India….  There are lots of interesting traditions to draw from in our home if we wish.  I don’t see any point in fighting the tide of Christmas cheer at the end of December so we put up lights and hang stockings and enjoy it all, but it’s one of many possible choices.

So I may be neutral when it comes to a lot of things about this season, but the one place where I have a decided allegiance is with music.  This I have a strong opinion about.
There was a fascinating piece on 60 Minutes back when I was in college that I remember watching with my grandmother in her family room one evening.  The story was about a high school girl in Utah who planned to major in music as a singer so she needed to participate in her school’s choir, but the area being predominantly Mormon meant that most of the music they did had Christian themes.  She and her family sued.  She didn’t believe she should be coerced into worship of a faith that wasn’t hers in a public school in order to fulfill her educational needs.

I found this riveting.  Because on the one hand I don’t think it’s fair to force a single religion onto people in a publicly funded place.  If a government building puts up a nativity scene because a lot of people in the community want it, I think that’s okay, as long as they make room for things minorities in the community want as well, because that’s fair.  Christians should not get in a tizzy because someone else in the community wants a menorah there too, or an atheist manifesto, etc.  But people do get upset when they see things they hold sacred juxtaposed with things they do not, so I think in most communities it makes more sense to leave such displays to private individuals and institutions.  The majority needs to put themselves in other people’s shoes better.

But as much as I wanted to support the girl in Utah for being able to hold her own against the majority religion, from a musician’s point of view I can’t, for two reasons:
First, from a practical standpoint, she will starve.  No one asks me if I am a Catholic before I go perform in a Catholic church.  No one asks if I am Baptist or Muslim or Jewish.  They only ask if I can be there on time.  If I had to screen every couple who needed a string quartet for their wedding to make sure their beliefs matched my own before I could accept the gig, I would never get to play.  If you sing for money, chances are good you will be offered work in a church.  And unless there is some extreme circumstance that makes it impossible or too distasteful, you take it.  Because if people are willing to pay you to make music you should be appreciative.

Second, from a musical standpoint, she will be actively denying herself the opportunity to sing some of the greatest music ever written.  Both inspiration and funding have come from religious institutions over the centuries, so some of the best music people have created have religious themes.  I don’t care if you are Christian or not, if you can get a part in a production of The Messiah by Handel you take it.  It’s transcendent in its beauty.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve performed the Hallelujah Chorus and it’s always a privilege and a thrill.  Would she really turn down the Mozart Requiem or a Bach Cantata due to Christian themes?  Insanity.  A musician on some level must be like an actor.  If actors only chose roles that specifically reflected their own personal beliefs then that’s not even acting.  The arts are more expansive than that.  There is beauty to appreciate in all cultures.  What a shallow, worthless life as a musician you would have if you cut yourself off from most of it.

I love traditional Christmas music.  I love The Holly And The Ivy, and Deck The Halls, and God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, and Joy To The World, and Angels We Have Heard On High….  My favorite is Silent Night.  I may not be a Christian, but I am a musician, and I know sacred when I hear it.  I love playing this music.

I don’t know what ever became of the girl in that story.  I’d be curious to find out.  I hope she was able to find a career in music if it’s what she wanted.  But I hope if she’s still singing that maybe somewhere out there this season she’s not denied herself the chance to sing some really lovely music.

I wish all of you peace and joy this season, regardless of what you believe.  And I wish you whatever music makes you smile.