There's A Duck On Your Head

Today was supposed to be my official book launch. I was all set to do a book reading/signing at Boswell Book Company--my favorite local bookstore. I was going to make cream puffs for it.

When I was offered a list of available dates by the bookstore, and April first was on it, that made the choice easy. I figured, first of all, April Fool's day was easier to remember then a random day in March. And second, if nobody showed, then the joke was on me. Turns out the joke was on all of us, and we nearly all get to stay home.

My dad loved April Fool's Day. Not in a mean prankster kind of way--my dad was anything but mean--but in a devious actor kind of way. I think he always wanted to play a villain in a movie--the clever, dastardly type. He liked the idea of being able to fool us as kids on this one day when he could test his lying ability without being judged negatively for it.

He was good at it, too. He once told us he'd had the car painted purple, and we knew it couldn't be true. It would be silly, and a waste of money, but he said it in such an offhand way as he continued reading the paper, that I did have to sneak off and take a peek through the window at the driveway. He grinned proudly to himself when I came back to the kitchen.

Every year we could at least count on him to tell us there was duck on our heads, or a pig in the sink. My kids do not like teasing of any kind, so April Fool's is not a thing in our house. I did tell my son there was a duck on his head this morning. He smiled. (I'm not as convincing as my dad was.)

In a parallel universe where all our plans did not get canceled, my book signing is still on. And the cream puffs are ready. And I'm still trying to decide exactly which section of my novel to read, and hoping I don't flub the words as I try to share them.

But in this universe, all I can tell you is if you want my book it's online. (Or available for curbside pickup from Boswell's since they have a whole box of them here in Milwaukee.)

And, not to alarm you? But there's a duck on your head.

No Foolin'

We could always count on my dad to try and trick us every April Fool's Day.  The version in our house growing up was extremely mild and always involved his telling us at some point that there was "a pig in the sink" and/or "a duck on your head."  He'd usually get us with some story about having the car repainted or something along those lines.  We didn't do pranks, and there were never lies designed to upset anyone.  (Unless briefly thinking you had a duck on your head was upsetting.)

My children, however, are sensitive and literal.  They don't like teasing.  They don't approve of lies.  They don't like pranks.  I did get Quinn to run down to check if there was a pig in the sink this morning before he figured out what day it is.  And I tried to convince the girls that the balloon/tissue/glue/paint project that has taken over our kitchen table was chewed up by dog after they went to bed, but Mona didn't buy it.  (Despite the dog looking appropriately guilty, but he's always guilty of something.)  Mona reasoned: Why would the dog suddenly want to chew on that?  It's been out for a couple days!  Are you fooling me, mom?  (I told her yes, but there really was a duck on her head.)

Today I sent out an email to a few people telling them there was a mix up at the groomer and now Chipper looks like a mini-panda, but at least we didn't have to pay for the dye job.  I've fooled two people that I know of with that this morning, but not my brother who knows to be wary today.  The most successful April Fool's joke I ever played was when Quinn was a baby and I told everyone that he said his first word but it was a swear word and I didn't know what to do about it.  Nearly everybody bought it, including my dad, so that was a good one. 

I tried a really minor deception on the way to school but then the kids became unhappy and asked me to please stop.  Ian told them he just doesn't listen to anything I say on April first.  A sensitive lot I live with.  Luckily there is Facebook, and I announced a "reverse sale" at the store where today only everything is One Million Dollars.  At least if someone falls for that we can retire.

So be a little cautious today!  And try to forgive those of us who are used to being trustworthy and just want to play a little for once.  You can trust us again tomorrow.

(And, seriously now, there is a duck on your head.)