Like many I know, I have mixed feelings anymore about the 4th of July.
That's been true for me since I first visited the Statue of Liberty as a child and watched a short film in the welcome center. The film featured famous people talking about what the Statue of Liberty meant to them, and it included James Baldwin whose statement is the only one that stayed with me. He quoted the beginning of the Declaration of Independence and said it was problematic since he hadn't been included in those ideals. He highlighted that for black people whose families were brought here by force to work as slave labor for others who claimed to believe "all men are created equal" the Statue of Liberty represented only a cruel irony.
It was the first time I truly recognized that symbols of our country flouted as patriotism were painful for many Americans. It broke my heart that people with as much right to the ideals of America did not feel a part of that dream. I had a child's love for my country that was uncomplicated. I had to rethink it.
Our country's history encompasses many dreadful and shameful things. Too much of that was whitewashed in school when I was young. There is less of that in my children's education, so they understand better than I did at their ages that there is much about American history that is disturbing and unpleasant.
I asked them this morning on our way to the annual parade how they feel about the 4th of July. My oldest said she wasn't sure how to feel. She sees so much happening in our country anymore that is hard to take pride in, that she'd rather think of the holiday as more a celebration of our neighborhood traditions. My middle child was conflicted because she doesn't want her disgust for the current president to contaminate her ability to enjoy the day. My youngest doesn't know. It's hard for him to see the 4th as something other than a candy holiday (and asked why anyone would bother to go to a parade that didn't involve throwing treats into the crowd).
Here's what I told them: America is a promise.
My own space apart from the babble of the internet
Showing posts with label 4th of July. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 4th of July. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 4, 2018
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Lots of Noise, Lots of Bouncing, Lots of Quiet
I hope everyone had a good 4th of July! We certainly did. And we took note of what things have changed and what things have stayed the same.
We went, as we do every year, to the parade in our nearby park. Some things about it are always the same: Politicians throwing candy, antique cars blowing funny horns, the lazy band on the flatbed truck, Polish dancers, accordion players, baton twirlers, Elvis.... Missing this year were the racing sausages, and there seemed to be fewer dogs.
We went, as we do every year, to the parade in our nearby park. Some things about it are always the same: Politicians throwing candy, antique cars blowing funny horns, the lazy band on the flatbed truck, Polish dancers, accordion players, baton twirlers, Elvis.... Missing this year were the racing sausages, and there seemed to be fewer dogs. |
| Elvis always brings it to the very end! |
 |
| Aden and her dad |
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Catching Up: 4th of July, Growing Things, and a Sparkle Cello Conundrum
I am behind. On just.... everything.
At least here on my blog I can catch up with one messy post of odds and ends. This won't be very coherent, but hey, you get what you pay for.
Part of the reason I haven't had time to write is I have been reading. I finished Life After Life by Kate Atkinson and really enjoyed it. It didn't feel like it was over 500 pages, but it sucked up time like it was over 500 pages. From a writer's point of view it looks like it must have been great fun. Basically the main character starts her life over each time she dies and we get to see lots of variations on her life story. I found the whole thing very interesting and wish I could have attended our book club discussion on it. Excellent book if you're looking for something (and you've already read mine!).
4th of July went well. The parade in the morning was fun, but I miss marching bands. We have several lazy bands that get driven on the backs of trucks, and among those are a polka band and a live group backing up an Elvis impersonator (which I used to think was weird and now look forward to every summer more than I can say), but no schools marching. A lot of schools don't even have bands anymore, though, which makes me sad. The elementary schools all had marching bands when I was a kid and we loved cheering on Roosevelt School in the parades and hearing the group practice around the neighborhood. This year's parade did not include giant sausages, but did have Milwaukee's mayor, and I got to shake hands with Senator Tammy Baldwin. My kids got a moderate candy haul, but the whole idea of candy for 4th of July is still odd to me. (It's another bizarre thing from "back in my day" that I can tell them about. No candy being thrown at the 4th of July parade, and knobs you had to turn to change the channel on the TV. Oooooh.)
Mona got honorable mention for her decorated bike in this year's contest.
This worked out fine because the prize was a bunch of sparkly headbands that she loves. Her bike was not as flashy as the ones that won, but the amount of fine detail work she did was above and beyond. She even made a special patriotic helmet for her duct tape eagle. (I told her it reminded me of a Mexican wrestler and she liked that idea.)
Quinn had kind of the opposite experience of last year. Last July he entered his scooter in the boys' coaster division, but was the only entrant, so he received a trophy and a prize when he scootered across the stage as they called his name. He was really proud and it was adorable. This year, having recently learned to ride a bike, he wanted to decorate that instead. But the bike division started at age seven, so they put him in the trike group. Well, I don't think anyone even pretends the tiny kids in the trike division decorate their own things, but Quinn did, and his bike looked big and messy by comparison. He was okay about coming in last, but the problem was they somehow lost his name altogether. They handed out prizes and then never called his name so he could ride across the stage! I had to flag people down and ask them between other categories of kids coming up to please let Quinn have his chance to ride his bike up there, and they did. And then the lady offstage with the consolation prizes gave Quinn a hard time since he didn't have an official "place" in the contest, and I had to explain that he didn't win anything so she should please let him have his stupid bag of plastic crap I don't want in my house marvelous prize.
At least here on my blog I can catch up with one messy post of odds and ends. This won't be very coherent, but hey, you get what you pay for.
Part of the reason I haven't had time to write is I have been reading. I finished Life After Life by Kate Atkinson and really enjoyed it. It didn't feel like it was over 500 pages, but it sucked up time like it was over 500 pages. From a writer's point of view it looks like it must have been great fun. Basically the main character starts her life over each time she dies and we get to see lots of variations on her life story. I found the whole thing very interesting and wish I could have attended our book club discussion on it. Excellent book if you're looking for something (and you've already read mine!).
4th of July went well. The parade in the morning was fun, but I miss marching bands. We have several lazy bands that get driven on the backs of trucks, and among those are a polka band and a live group backing up an Elvis impersonator (which I used to think was weird and now look forward to every summer more than I can say), but no schools marching. A lot of schools don't even have bands anymore, though, which makes me sad. The elementary schools all had marching bands when I was a kid and we loved cheering on Roosevelt School in the parades and hearing the group practice around the neighborhood. This year's parade did not include giant sausages, but did have Milwaukee's mayor, and I got to shake hands with Senator Tammy Baldwin. My kids got a moderate candy haul, but the whole idea of candy for 4th of July is still odd to me. (It's another bizarre thing from "back in my day" that I can tell them about. No candy being thrown at the 4th of July parade, and knobs you had to turn to change the channel on the TV. Oooooh.)
Mona got honorable mention for her decorated bike in this year's contest.
This worked out fine because the prize was a bunch of sparkly headbands that she loves. Her bike was not as flashy as the ones that won, but the amount of fine detail work she did was above and beyond. She even made a special patriotic helmet for her duct tape eagle. (I told her it reminded me of a Mexican wrestler and she liked that idea.) |
| Quinn's flag with exactly 50 stars |
Sunday, July 8, 2012
The Parade of Enduring Freedom
I hope everyone had a great 4th of July!
Ours was lovely, and we got to share the celebrations in our local park with friends who were refugees from the recent power outages in Ohio. (It may have been 100 degrees here, too, but at least we had central air, lights, and refrigeration.)
We enjoyed the morning parade, which for the first time in our memory did not include any giant sausages running races, but did not lack for candy. (The consensus among my children was that judges throw the best candy.) Lots of baton twirlers, most of who were still managing to twirl in the heat despite our park being at the end of the parade route. We had a cookout in the backyard for dinner and the fireworks in the evening did not disappoint.
But the big event for us this year was the bike decorating contest.
There is a children's parade in the in the middle of the day every 4th of July where kids decorate bikes, trikes, coasters, and buggies and get to go across the main stage at the pavilion and receive prizes. My daughters have become disillusioned by this in the past few years because it's always apparent that the winners had help from their parents and my kids do everything on their own. Aden almost didn't enter this year because it seemed hopeless.
But I told her the fun of it is in decorating her bike any way she likes, prizes or no prizes, and she should just have a good time with it. She would be too self-conscious to decorate her bike for no reason, so this was a great excuse to be creative. Aden wasn't sure, but got interested when we started buying supplies. A couple of days before the fourth we went to the store and the kids picked out red, white, and blue streamers and a package of straws that had red and blue sparkly tassels on them. And Mona found a pinwheel she liked.
I love watching my kids dive into a project. They set up the whole back deck with scissors and tape and streamers and pipe cleaners and worked on their bikes and Quinn's scooter for many hours despite the heat. Mona attached her pinwheel to the handlebars so it would spin as her bike moved forward, Aden constructed a small bald eagle out of duct tape, they all found ways to use the streamers and pipe cleaners and tassels. I was really proud of them.
On the day of the big event we went with the kids to register their bikes and scooter only to encounter the cranky volunteer ladies. The woman in charge really needs to just give up control to someone who cares at this point, because she's impatient and simply seems annoyed by the whole thing. She was dismissive last year when the kids were on stage, and this year she actually opened the event by saying, "Welcome to the children's parade of coasters, buggies, and whatever else there is. It's very hot so let's just get through this as quickly as possible." Hooray, Happy 4th to you too!
But the first cranky volunteer lady looked at Mona's bike when it was our turn to sign her in and asked, "Where is the theme?" Theme? "Yes, the theme this year is Enduring Freedom. Where is her theme?" Well, good grief. I'd never seen mention of a theme anywhere in all the years we've been going to the park for 4th of July. Everyone's bikes were decorated in red, white, and blue. They are always decorated in red, white, and blue. (Except the first year my girls entered and they bought stuff in tropical colors and added dozens of small plastic snakes to their bikes, because why not? Now they at least get the patriotic slant of the event, but personally I miss the snakes.)
Enduring Freedom indeed. I looked at the lady and said, "Mona had freedom to do her bike completely on her own without any help at all and it is my hope that that kind of freedom endures." Whatever. They gave her a number and put her bike in line with the other bikes all decked out in red, white, and blue to await judging.
Aden's bike somehow escaped that kind of initial scrutiny, and Quinn was on the fence about whether he wanted to enter his scooter. He'd done his minimal decorating all on his own, and it looked like what a five year old boy would do by himself and he was unsure about having it be judged. And who can blame him, because look at the other entry in the coaster competition:
That's Quinn's scooter in front with its couple of tassels and streamers taped on, and the wagon behind it is decked out with American flags dragging on the ground and the sign attached to them says "Enduring Freedom" so they apparently got the theme memo. But which kid do you think did his own work? Anyway, they divide all the categories into boys and girls, and Quinn turned out to be the only boy in the coaster category this year. The only one.
So he scooted across the stage and picked up a trophy for first place.
It was hilarious. And adorable. Despite the cranky volunteer lady whining into the microphone and mispronouncing his name and rushing through everything. Quinn got a trophy and a ribbon and a Hot Wheels loop-the-loop toy. It was great.
But the really exciting thing was that this year, all the bikes in the girls' division looked like they had been done by the kids themselves. There were some elaborate entries on the boys' side that gave me doubts, but not among the girls. And Aden won second place! Mona received honorable mention. We were really proud of both of them, and Aden looked pleased to know that on a level playing field she could do well.
Mona fussed that if she'd only known the theme she might have had a better chance in the judging, but I really can't imagine what she would have done differently. All the kids in the parade got a certificate and a toy and it's just for fun. I don't want her to take it seriously. I just want her to enjoy her Enduring Freedom to do what she does. Her theme should always be 'Mona' and she will be mentioned honorably her whole life long.
Ours was lovely, and we got to share the celebrations in our local park with friends who were refugees from the recent power outages in Ohio. (It may have been 100 degrees here, too, but at least we had central air, lights, and refrigeration.)
We enjoyed the morning parade, which for the first time in our memory did not include any giant sausages running races, but did not lack for candy. (The consensus among my children was that judges throw the best candy.) Lots of baton twirlers, most of who were still managing to twirl in the heat despite our park being at the end of the parade route. We had a cookout in the backyard for dinner and the fireworks in the evening did not disappoint.
But the big event for us this year was the bike decorating contest.
There is a children's parade in the in the middle of the day every 4th of July where kids decorate bikes, trikes, coasters, and buggies and get to go across the main stage at the pavilion and receive prizes. My daughters have become disillusioned by this in the past few years because it's always apparent that the winners had help from their parents and my kids do everything on their own. Aden almost didn't enter this year because it seemed hopeless.
But I told her the fun of it is in decorating her bike any way she likes, prizes or no prizes, and she should just have a good time with it. She would be too self-conscious to decorate her bike for no reason, so this was a great excuse to be creative. Aden wasn't sure, but got interested when we started buying supplies. A couple of days before the fourth we went to the store and the kids picked out red, white, and blue streamers and a package of straws that had red and blue sparkly tassels on them. And Mona found a pinwheel she liked.
I love watching my kids dive into a project. They set up the whole back deck with scissors and tape and streamers and pipe cleaners and worked on their bikes and Quinn's scooter for many hours despite the heat. Mona attached her pinwheel to the handlebars so it would spin as her bike moved forward, Aden constructed a small bald eagle out of duct tape, they all found ways to use the streamers and pipe cleaners and tassels. I was really proud of them.
On the day of the big event we went with the kids to register their bikes and scooter only to encounter the cranky volunteer ladies. The woman in charge really needs to just give up control to someone who cares at this point, because she's impatient and simply seems annoyed by the whole thing. She was dismissive last year when the kids were on stage, and this year she actually opened the event by saying, "Welcome to the children's parade of coasters, buggies, and whatever else there is. It's very hot so let's just get through this as quickly as possible." Hooray, Happy 4th to you too!
But the first cranky volunteer lady looked at Mona's bike when it was our turn to sign her in and asked, "Where is the theme?" Theme? "Yes, the theme this year is Enduring Freedom. Where is her theme?" Well, good grief. I'd never seen mention of a theme anywhere in all the years we've been going to the park for 4th of July. Everyone's bikes were decorated in red, white, and blue. They are always decorated in red, white, and blue. (Except the first year my girls entered and they bought stuff in tropical colors and added dozens of small plastic snakes to their bikes, because why not? Now they at least get the patriotic slant of the event, but personally I miss the snakes.)
Enduring Freedom indeed. I looked at the lady and said, "Mona had freedom to do her bike completely on her own without any help at all and it is my hope that that kind of freedom endures." Whatever. They gave her a number and put her bike in line with the other bikes all decked out in red, white, and blue to await judging.
Aden's bike somehow escaped that kind of initial scrutiny, and Quinn was on the fence about whether he wanted to enter his scooter. He'd done his minimal decorating all on his own, and it looked like what a five year old boy would do by himself and he was unsure about having it be judged. And who can blame him, because look at the other entry in the coaster competition:
That's Quinn's scooter in front with its couple of tassels and streamers taped on, and the wagon behind it is decked out with American flags dragging on the ground and the sign attached to them says "Enduring Freedom" so they apparently got the theme memo. But which kid do you think did his own work? Anyway, they divide all the categories into boys and girls, and Quinn turned out to be the only boy in the coaster category this year. The only one.
So he scooted across the stage and picked up a trophy for first place.
 |
| Not bad for just showing up! |
It was hilarious. And adorable. Despite the cranky volunteer lady whining into the microphone and mispronouncing his name and rushing through everything. Quinn got a trophy and a ribbon and a Hot Wheels loop-the-loop toy. It was great.
 |
| Aden and her eagle |
Mona fussed that if she'd only known the theme she might have had a better chance in the judging, but I really can't imagine what she would have done differently. All the kids in the parade got a certificate and a toy and it's just for fun. I don't want her to take it seriously. I just want her to enjoy her Enduring Freedom to do what she does. Her theme should always be 'Mona' and she will be mentioned honorably her whole life long.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Fine (Babble)
Ian’s at Ft Knox this week. He has a week of Army training to do,
then he’ll be home for a bit, then two more weeks of training somewhere
else. How are we doing? Fine.
We’re coming up next month on the one year anniversary of Ian’s return home from Iraq. The nicest part about reaching that milestone is that we get to start repeating things, by which I mean as we cycle through the normal parts the year our memories will include Ian again. Currently when we do something, like celebrate the 4th of July, we look back to last year and remember that Ian wasn’t with us. Last 4th of July was an exhausting mess.
Mona wiped out on her scooter and scratched up her face, Quinn had a major meltdown, and I was at my wit’s end for most of the day.
This year with Ian home again it was wonderful. With kids it’s particularly helpful to remind them of how we did things the last time–what our holiday traditions are, how we prepare for school starting up again, anything that repeats needs review. For a year now that review has been a reminder of their dad’s absence during his deployment. Now we get to move on to something better.
For myself there has been a vague sense of panic anytime Ian has had to leave this past year. Nothing terrible, but not comfortable. It brought back too many memories of a difficult time. I think I’m over that.
I’ve had to arrange for a sitter to watch the kids for a couple of days while I go to work, but if that falls through they can all just come with me. It’s not ideal to have them all at the violin store, but I know how to handle it and still get my work done.
And the truth is, far from feeling anxious that Ian is away, I’m kind of enjoying it. I miss him of course–life is always better with Ian here–but I can do some things better when he’s not around. I’m not in the house as much since I returned to work, and I like to get things cleaned and organized. I can’t really do that the same way when Ian is home. When I feel productive in that way and I’m bustling about whipping things into shape it can make Ian feel a bit guilty or criticized since it seems like a reflection on his own abilities to run the house. I don’t mean it that way, I just have a different preference for how I like things to be, so I wait for him to leave to accomplish certain tasks.
It’s nice to have some long stretches of time in the house again. I’m excited to be getting to certain projects, mostly things that bug me but that I’m too tired to do when I get home from work. For instance, today I finally organized the linen closet. The other thing that’s nice about doing something like that with Ian gone is I don’t have to feel like I should consult him about it. I can just do it my way and it’s faster. (If he doesn’t like what I did he can change it when he gets back, but in the meantime I like it, and I think he’ll like it too.)
I love spending so much time with all the kids again, and they seem happy to just be kicking around the house with me. It’s familiar and it’s pleasant, and this time it’s minus the old stress. It’s nice.
I feel as if I’m past the trauma of the deployment. It’s not easier running things alone, but it’s just for a week, so it’s no big deal. I didn’t realize I missed being the one who is in charge of the meals and the upkeep of the house so much. I’m even trying to buckle down and edit my first novel and send out query letters so that I might finally find an agent and do more serious writing. It’s hard to make myself do that when Ian is home because I’d rather hang out with him. If deployment teaches you anything it’s that time with the people you love should not be taken for granted, so just doing nothing in the same room with Ian has more appeal than leaving his side to do my own things sometimes. If I can’t be spending time with Ian right now, I may as well be productive. It makes all the difference with Ian away not to be worried about his safety. I’m home. We’re happy. He’ll be back soon enough and can be happy with us.
Once upon a time the idea of a week alone with the kids would have sounded complicated and stressful. But I’m good. I know how to do this and it’s not bad. I know what worse looks like. This? This isn’t just getting by. This is fine.
(Our neighbor, Julie, with Mona, Aden, Ian and Quinn, welcoming Ian home from his first deployment back in 2007.)
We’re coming up next month on the one year anniversary of Ian’s return home from Iraq. The nicest part about reaching that milestone is that we get to start repeating things, by which I mean as we cycle through the normal parts the year our memories will include Ian again. Currently when we do something, like celebrate the 4th of July, we look back to last year and remember that Ian wasn’t with us. Last 4th of July was an exhausting mess.
Mona wiped out on her scooter and scratched up her face, Quinn had a major meltdown, and I was at my wit’s end for most of the day.
This year with Ian home again it was wonderful. With kids it’s particularly helpful to remind them of how we did things the last time–what our holiday traditions are, how we prepare for school starting up again, anything that repeats needs review. For a year now that review has been a reminder of their dad’s absence during his deployment. Now we get to move on to something better.
For myself there has been a vague sense of panic anytime Ian has had to leave this past year. Nothing terrible, but not comfortable. It brought back too many memories of a difficult time. I think I’m over that.
I’ve had to arrange for a sitter to watch the kids for a couple of days while I go to work, but if that falls through they can all just come with me. It’s not ideal to have them all at the violin store, but I know how to handle it and still get my work done.
And the truth is, far from feeling anxious that Ian is away, I’m kind of enjoying it. I miss him of course–life is always better with Ian here–but I can do some things better when he’s not around. I’m not in the house as much since I returned to work, and I like to get things cleaned and organized. I can’t really do that the same way when Ian is home. When I feel productive in that way and I’m bustling about whipping things into shape it can make Ian feel a bit guilty or criticized since it seems like a reflection on his own abilities to run the house. I don’t mean it that way, I just have a different preference for how I like things to be, so I wait for him to leave to accomplish certain tasks.
It’s nice to have some long stretches of time in the house again. I’m excited to be getting to certain projects, mostly things that bug me but that I’m too tired to do when I get home from work. For instance, today I finally organized the linen closet. The other thing that’s nice about doing something like that with Ian gone is I don’t have to feel like I should consult him about it. I can just do it my way and it’s faster. (If he doesn’t like what I did he can change it when he gets back, but in the meantime I like it, and I think he’ll like it too.)
I love spending so much time with all the kids again, and they seem happy to just be kicking around the house with me. It’s familiar and it’s pleasant, and this time it’s minus the old stress. It’s nice.
I feel as if I’m past the trauma of the deployment. It’s not easier running things alone, but it’s just for a week, so it’s no big deal. I didn’t realize I missed being the one who is in charge of the meals and the upkeep of the house so much. I’m even trying to buckle down and edit my first novel and send out query letters so that I might finally find an agent and do more serious writing. It’s hard to make myself do that when Ian is home because I’d rather hang out with him. If deployment teaches you anything it’s that time with the people you love should not be taken for granted, so just doing nothing in the same room with Ian has more appeal than leaving his side to do my own things sometimes. If I can’t be spending time with Ian right now, I may as well be productive. It makes all the difference with Ian away not to be worried about his safety. I’m home. We’re happy. He’ll be back soon enough and can be happy with us.
Once upon a time the idea of a week alone with the kids would have sounded complicated and stressful. But I’m good. I know how to do this and it’s not bad. I know what worse looks like. This? This isn’t just getting by. This is fine.
(Our neighbor, Julie, with Mona, Aden, Ian and Quinn, welcoming Ian home from his first deployment back in 2007.)
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Bikes, Elvis, and a Whole Lot of Flags (Babble)
I love my country, and I’m glad to be an American, but when I write things like this, and this, and this,
I know there are people who would doubt my patriotism. I don’t care.
Part of why I love this country is I am allowed to voice criticism of it
and admit to discomfort with certain elements. I don’t have to be
anyone’s idea of a traditional American in order to be a real one.
But one of the ways I am almost ridiculously traditional is in my love of the 4th of July (even if I don’t own a flag). It’s a terrific holiday. A national event to commemorate the signing of a powerful document; not a date about war, or a specific person, or a religion, but of an idea. About beginning something new and daring that has evolved and grown into something remarkable. Plus it comes with ice cream and fireworks. It’s awesome.
The wonderful thing about 4th of July in Milwaukee is that in our own local park within easy walking distance of our house there are events all day. It begins with a parade and ends with fireworks, and in between there is a doughnut eating contest and dog dancing and buggy decorating and children’s races and clowns and a talent show and more things than we ever get to. And the beauty of it is it’s all corny and done without a trace of irony. It’s genuine and it’s fun and everything you ever pictured a traditional 4th of July celebration should be.
(List of park events)
We’ve lived in our neighborhood long enough that we’ve come to expect particular things from the parade.
Regular features include the antique cars:
Soldiers (some with noisy guns):
Elvis:
Accordions:
What my husband refers to as the lazy band:
And many baton twirlers of varying ages, politicians throwing candy, and of course the giant sausages. (What, your town doesn’t have giant sausages of different ethnicities running around? Huh.) Usually we only get a few of the sausages (who run races in between innings at the baseball games at Miller Park) because I think they spread them out to other neighborhood parades, but this year we got them all. Mona managed to high five the Mexican one and this Italian guy:
After the parade I managed to lose Quinn in the crowd for about a minute that felt like forever (although not as bad as losing Mona in Central Park a couple of years ago, or both the girls in Ikea, or Mona after the school pasta dinner fund raiser…. Dang, I need to start paying better attention apparently or get tracking chips put in their ears). Then Quinn and I headed home so he could count his candy. (He made an adorable chart on the dry erase board of how many Tootsie Rolls he got, versus lollipops and ‘Frooties’ that I didn’t get a picture of in time.)
I love that with Ian home we can accommodate the kids better by splitting up if we need to. The girls wanted to see the clown show and run the kid races, so they stayed with their dad in the park while Quinn and I walked home. 4th of July is definitely something that is easier with two parents.
After lunch we all headed back to the park to register Aden and Quinn in the bike decorating contest. (Mona didn’t participate because she uses a scooter, not a bike, and didn’t realize that no one would have cared if she’d entered that instead until it was too late.) The good things about the bike and trike and buggy decorating contest are that it is adorable, every kid gets some kind of ribbon or certificate and a little prize, and they are excited about getting to be up on the big outdoor stage. The bad things are that the winners are always kids who obviously had a LOT of help from their parents, and the older people who run the judging are often tired and cranky. I could totally make the coolest patriotic holiday bike ever, but the contest is not for me, and I’m proud of my kids for doing everything themselves even if they never ever win because the four-year-old’s bike looks like a four-year-old decorated it (because a four-year-old DID).
Here are some of the bikes lined up for judging (with Aden’s front and center, and a mysteriously well-constructed float-like bike just behind hers in the next row):
Quinn looked so proud biking across the stage! His bike was ranked last but he was pleased to get a ribbon:
Aden paid attention to details like making sure her blue streamers were decorated with exactly 50 stars done in crayon:
But here was the kicker about Aden’s moment to participate in the bike parade: She was not one of the top three winners, so after those little awards were given out, the lady running things looked wearily at the remaining kids and said something like, “Well, I guess the rest of the girls should just come across the stage. There’s some kind of consolation prize for you down there somewhere.” I couldn’t believe it! And everyone else I talked to who heard it said they couldn’t believe she was so dismissive of all the other kids either. The event barely qualifies as a competition, it’s purely for fun, so why would you make anyone feel bad? Good grief. Luckily Aden was happy with her certificate and some of the little prizes in the consolation bag, but it got both my husband and my neighbor, Julie, saying they really should sign up with the neighborhood association so they can get in there and move some of the crankier people aside during the kids’ events.
After the bike parade we headed home and hung out with some friends and ate a bit of the red-white-and-blue-trifle I made the night before:
It came out pretty! And it tasted good, but you can’t really mess up berries and whipped cream and cake, and I threw in some pudding somewhere in there too. (I bought that trifle bowl years ago and I think this is the first time I’ve actually dragged it out to make a trifle in it. But it was a hit so we’ll probably do it again before the summer is over.)
We had a nice cookout on the deck (that included grilled zucchini which might be my new favorite thing) and then relaxed a little before heading back out to the park to listen to a band on the stage, eat ice cream, then lie on a blanket and watch the fireworks. In past years a random sampling of my kids at any given time has been sensitive to the noise (which has not always made fireworks a universally popular activity) but they all seem to be over it. Frankly, I’m over it too. I used to hate the noise and this year I noticed that it doesn’t bother me anymore. Quinn sat in my lap and said things like, “That one looked like jewels! And that one looked like sparkling rain!”
It was an excellent day. The only thing that might have improved it would have been a nap in there somewhere. (And not losing Quinn briefly.) I keep trying to sell my extended family on how much fun 4th of July is in Milwaukee and that it would be the perfect time for a visit, but no takers yet. I just hope they all had as much fun where they were. (But I doubt it!)
But one of the ways I am almost ridiculously traditional is in my love of the 4th of July (even if I don’t own a flag). It’s a terrific holiday. A national event to commemorate the signing of a powerful document; not a date about war, or a specific person, or a religion, but of an idea. About beginning something new and daring that has evolved and grown into something remarkable. Plus it comes with ice cream and fireworks. It’s awesome.
The wonderful thing about 4th of July in Milwaukee is that in our own local park within easy walking distance of our house there are events all day. It begins with a parade and ends with fireworks, and in between there is a doughnut eating contest and dog dancing and buggy decorating and children’s races and clowns and a talent show and more things than we ever get to. And the beauty of it is it’s all corny and done without a trace of irony. It’s genuine and it’s fun and everything you ever pictured a traditional 4th of July celebration should be.
(List of park events)
We’ve lived in our neighborhood long enough that we’ve come to expect particular things from the parade.
Regular features include the antique cars:
Soldiers (some with noisy guns):
Elvis:
Accordions:
What my husband refers to as the lazy band:
And many baton twirlers of varying ages, politicians throwing candy, and of course the giant sausages. (What, your town doesn’t have giant sausages of different ethnicities running around? Huh.) Usually we only get a few of the sausages (who run races in between innings at the baseball games at Miller Park) because I think they spread them out to other neighborhood parades, but this year we got them all. Mona managed to high five the Mexican one and this Italian guy:
After the parade I managed to lose Quinn in the crowd for about a minute that felt like forever (although not as bad as losing Mona in Central Park a couple of years ago, or both the girls in Ikea, or Mona after the school pasta dinner fund raiser…. Dang, I need to start paying better attention apparently or get tracking chips put in their ears). Then Quinn and I headed home so he could count his candy. (He made an adorable chart on the dry erase board of how many Tootsie Rolls he got, versus lollipops and ‘Frooties’ that I didn’t get a picture of in time.)
I love that with Ian home we can accommodate the kids better by splitting up if we need to. The girls wanted to see the clown show and run the kid races, so they stayed with their dad in the park while Quinn and I walked home. 4th of July is definitely something that is easier with two parents.
After lunch we all headed back to the park to register Aden and Quinn in the bike decorating contest. (Mona didn’t participate because she uses a scooter, not a bike, and didn’t realize that no one would have cared if she’d entered that instead until it was too late.) The good things about the bike and trike and buggy decorating contest are that it is adorable, every kid gets some kind of ribbon or certificate and a little prize, and they are excited about getting to be up on the big outdoor stage. The bad things are that the winners are always kids who obviously had a LOT of help from their parents, and the older people who run the judging are often tired and cranky. I could totally make the coolest patriotic holiday bike ever, but the contest is not for me, and I’m proud of my kids for doing everything themselves even if they never ever win because the four-year-old’s bike looks like a four-year-old decorated it (because a four-year-old DID).
Here are some of the bikes lined up for judging (with Aden’s front and center, and a mysteriously well-constructed float-like bike just behind hers in the next row):
Quinn looked so proud biking across the stage! His bike was ranked last but he was pleased to get a ribbon:
Aden paid attention to details like making sure her blue streamers were decorated with exactly 50 stars done in crayon:
But here was the kicker about Aden’s moment to participate in the bike parade: She was not one of the top three winners, so after those little awards were given out, the lady running things looked wearily at the remaining kids and said something like, “Well, I guess the rest of the girls should just come across the stage. There’s some kind of consolation prize for you down there somewhere.” I couldn’t believe it! And everyone else I talked to who heard it said they couldn’t believe she was so dismissive of all the other kids either. The event barely qualifies as a competition, it’s purely for fun, so why would you make anyone feel bad? Good grief. Luckily Aden was happy with her certificate and some of the little prizes in the consolation bag, but it got both my husband and my neighbor, Julie, saying they really should sign up with the neighborhood association so they can get in there and move some of the crankier people aside during the kids’ events.
After the bike parade we headed home and hung out with some friends and ate a bit of the red-white-and-blue-trifle I made the night before:
It came out pretty! And it tasted good, but you can’t really mess up berries and whipped cream and cake, and I threw in some pudding somewhere in there too. (I bought that trifle bowl years ago and I think this is the first time I’ve actually dragged it out to make a trifle in it. But it was a hit so we’ll probably do it again before the summer is over.)
We had a nice cookout on the deck (that included grilled zucchini which might be my new favorite thing) and then relaxed a little before heading back out to the park to listen to a band on the stage, eat ice cream, then lie on a blanket and watch the fireworks. In past years a random sampling of my kids at any given time has been sensitive to the noise (which has not always made fireworks a universally popular activity) but they all seem to be over it. Frankly, I’m over it too. I used to hate the noise and this year I noticed that it doesn’t bother me anymore. Quinn sat in my lap and said things like, “That one looked like jewels! And that one looked like sparkling rain!”
It was an excellent day. The only thing that might have improved it would have been a nap in there somewhere. (And not losing Quinn briefly.) I keep trying to sell my extended family on how much fun 4th of July is in Milwaukee and that it would be the perfect time for a visit, but no takers yet. I just hope they all had as much fun where they were. (But I doubt it!)
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Things that are easier with two adults in the house (Babble)
I’m looking forward to my husband coming home for all kinds of
obvious reasons, but there are lots of little ones that present
themselves every day that seem highlighted as we get closer to that
magical date. Here are the ones that jumped out at me in the past
couple of weeks:
Changing a futon cover. This is much harder when the only people around to help were born this century.
Trying on clothes. It’s not just hard when your kids are little and scrambling around the dressing room, it’s also annoying when they are old enough to share their observations and opinions while you’re trying things on. (Not that they are wrong, I just don’t enjoy the critique.) With the exception of a few things I ordered through a catalog back in the winter I have all the same clothes I had when Ian left. Not that I’m a big clothes shopper, but I just have a feeling if Ian was stop-lossed for the rest of our lives I would be wearing the same six outfits until the kids left home or I died, whichever came first.
Finishing any yard work. Impossible. I know there must be single parents who do this, but I can’t figure out how. Inside chores I can handle because if all the kids are in the house with me somewhere I’m not worried about them. Keeping track of three kids running loose outside is trickier, especially since the younger ones want to follow the older ones into dangerous territory. Yard work has to be done in daylight, so it’s one of the few things I can’t do after they go to bed. I can whack weeds for a few minutes at a time at best before someone wants to bike someplace out of sight, or needs help crossing the street, or I have to restrain Quinn from flagging down yet another ice cream truck. Our yard will look so much better when Ian comes home.
Attending parades. This probably wouldn’t come up too often anywhere else, but one of Milwaukee’s nicknames is ‘Festival City,’ and there are events and festivals all summer long. (Summerfest, Asian Moon, Indian Summer, Irish Fest, German Fest, Pride Fest, Festa Italiana, South Shore Frolics, Bastille Days….. Good grief if you are bored and within driving distance of Milwaukee you have no excuse for it.) There are fireworks almost every weekend and lots of parades. We skipped a big parade and street festival with fireworks this weekend and my kids didn’t care because we just did a lot of that for 4th of July. I knew the Independence Day events in our neighborhood park would be trouble without another adult along, but I didn’t see a good way out of it.
4th of July (even though all of this was on the 5th for us for some
reason this year—Milwaukee is not famous for doing holidays on the
actual days) is something our city definitely does right. I’ve always
liked the 4th of July, but when we moved here I was absolutely charmed
by all the festivities in our neighborhood park. The day starts off
with the parade, then there are kids’ games in the park and a contest
for decorating bikes and wagons and baby buggies, a talent show, live
music, and fireworks after dark. We also sometimes have giant sausages
that run races and dancing dogs, but that’s a different post.
Anyway, without another adult to help with potty breaks, etc., I told the kids we could do the parade and the fireworks, but we’d have to go home in between. I knew even that would be too much in the heat, but how can you deny kids a 4th of July celebration? You can’t. So we went, they got tired, and when Quinn asked for water and I gave him some it was the beginning of the end. I don’t know if the bottle was the wrong color, or if I gave it to him with the wrong hand, but when a three-year-old hits his limit you can do everything right and he will still fall apart. I ended up carrying his bike while he stomped along by his sister and hollered, and a block from home Mona had a wipe out on her scooter and scratched up her face and her knees. I instructed Aden to work on getting her grumpy brother the rest of the way home while I went ahead and tended to Mona’s wounds. On top of it all my Birkenstocks betrayed me and my normally most comfortable sandals cut up the tops of both my pinky toes. I had to bandage myself up along with Mona before I could go back out and scoop up screaming Quinn and dump him on the couch where he slept until almost dinnertime. Fireworks went infinitely better because we went with my neighbor. It’s so freeing to have that second adult along!
(Mona snuggled up with Julie at the fireworks show. Those aren’t rosy cheeks on my little girl, those are her scooter accident scratches, poor thing. She heals fast, though, and now looks fine.) I am done with parades until Ian gets home.
Watching scary movies. I’d really like to see Shaun of the Dead but I keep bumping it further back in my Netflix queue. Until there is another adult around I can’t afford to be thinking about zombies while there is laundry that needs doing in the basement. Someone needs to be a grown up around here, and scary movies make me less of one for short periods.
Taking naps. Sometimes I could really use a nap, but unless I can convince a quorum to do it with me, there’s just no way.
Parties. I can do play dates and I can handle people staying with us no problem, but I’m still relieved Ian happened to be home during Aden’s birthday bash. If I had to throw some kind of emergency party between now and when Ian comes back I would have to enlist another adult to help out. On the actual 4th of July (not to be confused with all the excitement on the 5th) a friend came over for the afternoon with her two kids and they stayed for dinner. Just being able to split the work up a little by having her set the table while I cooked, or having her cut up the watermelon while I stirred things on the stove was pleasant and civilized somehow. I felt less like a zookeeper and more like a hostess.
Going swimming at the Y. Quinn is the only child in the world who has never peed in a swimming pool. This is good, but it means at least once when we’re in the pool I have to take him out to use the bathroom, and depending on how busy the pool is I usually end up dragging both girls out to go with us. Plus having all three kids with me in the changing room can be a bit much.
I would say grocery shopping, even though it’s definitely easier to do that alone if there is someone to leave the kids with, but this is one area I have finally mastered, primarily due to the convenience of Aden being older. Aden pushes one cart with her brother in it, and they make up stories about the different food items in the cart (“Oooh! The watermelon is your new friend! Should it have a play date with the cheese?”) Mona pushes a second cart, and I walk ahead and pretend I’m trying to lose them as I look for what I need. If I act like they can’t keep up with me, they actually pay attention to where I am and stick pretty close. (This is especially handy in Target when they are getting pokey–I just slip into the next aisle saying, “They’ll never find me over here,” and next thing I know they are all at my side.)
Anyway, no matter how good I am about making them use the bathroom before we start shopping, someone has to pee by the time we are on the other end of the store. This used to make me insane because the hassle of getting everyone to the bathroom in time and leaving the cart outside the bathroom, etc. was never ever fun. Now either Aden can take herself, or take one of her siblings if they need to go, and they catch up with me in frozen foods. So it’s still an event to go shopping with all three kids all the time, but it’s never bad anymore. They don’t whine or cry, they are just slow and distracted because they are kids. I’m used to it, but I’m still looking forward to buying food by myself again from time to time.
I’m so lucky that most of my problems aren’t really problems. Life without Ian is inconvenient and not as much fun, but we still have a very nice life. It’s just not the life I want most. Many people never gets anywhere near this close to what they want, so I don’t take that lightly. Life is great. I can hardly believe it’s about to get better.
Changing a futon cover. This is much harder when the only people around to help were born this century.
Trying on clothes. It’s not just hard when your kids are little and scrambling around the dressing room, it’s also annoying when they are old enough to share their observations and opinions while you’re trying things on. (Not that they are wrong, I just don’t enjoy the critique.) With the exception of a few things I ordered through a catalog back in the winter I have all the same clothes I had when Ian left. Not that I’m a big clothes shopper, but I just have a feeling if Ian was stop-lossed for the rest of our lives I would be wearing the same six outfits until the kids left home or I died, whichever came first.
Finishing any yard work. Impossible. I know there must be single parents who do this, but I can’t figure out how. Inside chores I can handle because if all the kids are in the house with me somewhere I’m not worried about them. Keeping track of three kids running loose outside is trickier, especially since the younger ones want to follow the older ones into dangerous territory. Yard work has to be done in daylight, so it’s one of the few things I can’t do after they go to bed. I can whack weeds for a few minutes at a time at best before someone wants to bike someplace out of sight, or needs help crossing the street, or I have to restrain Quinn from flagging down yet another ice cream truck. Our yard will look so much better when Ian comes home.
Attending parades. This probably wouldn’t come up too often anywhere else, but one of Milwaukee’s nicknames is ‘Festival City,’ and there are events and festivals all summer long. (Summerfest, Asian Moon, Indian Summer, Irish Fest, German Fest, Pride Fest, Festa Italiana, South Shore Frolics, Bastille Days….. Good grief if you are bored and within driving distance of Milwaukee you have no excuse for it.) There are fireworks almost every weekend and lots of parades. We skipped a big parade and street festival with fireworks this weekend and my kids didn’t care because we just did a lot of that for 4th of July. I knew the Independence Day events in our neighborhood park would be trouble without another adult along, but I didn’t see a good way out of it.
Anyway, without another adult to help with potty breaks, etc., I told the kids we could do the parade and the fireworks, but we’d have to go home in between. I knew even that would be too much in the heat, but how can you deny kids a 4th of July celebration? You can’t. So we went, they got tired, and when Quinn asked for water and I gave him some it was the beginning of the end. I don’t know if the bottle was the wrong color, or if I gave it to him with the wrong hand, but when a three-year-old hits his limit you can do everything right and he will still fall apart. I ended up carrying his bike while he stomped along by his sister and hollered, and a block from home Mona had a wipe out on her scooter and scratched up her face and her knees. I instructed Aden to work on getting her grumpy brother the rest of the way home while I went ahead and tended to Mona’s wounds. On top of it all my Birkenstocks betrayed me and my normally most comfortable sandals cut up the tops of both my pinky toes. I had to bandage myself up along with Mona before I could go back out and scoop up screaming Quinn and dump him on the couch where he slept until almost dinnertime. Fireworks went infinitely better because we went with my neighbor. It’s so freeing to have that second adult along!
(Mona snuggled up with Julie at the fireworks show. Those aren’t rosy cheeks on my little girl, those are her scooter accident scratches, poor thing. She heals fast, though, and now looks fine.) I am done with parades until Ian gets home.
Watching scary movies. I’d really like to see Shaun of the Dead but I keep bumping it further back in my Netflix queue. Until there is another adult around I can’t afford to be thinking about zombies while there is laundry that needs doing in the basement. Someone needs to be a grown up around here, and scary movies make me less of one for short periods.
Taking naps. Sometimes I could really use a nap, but unless I can convince a quorum to do it with me, there’s just no way.
Parties. I can do play dates and I can handle people staying with us no problem, but I’m still relieved Ian happened to be home during Aden’s birthday bash. If I had to throw some kind of emergency party between now and when Ian comes back I would have to enlist another adult to help out. On the actual 4th of July (not to be confused with all the excitement on the 5th) a friend came over for the afternoon with her two kids and they stayed for dinner. Just being able to split the work up a little by having her set the table while I cooked, or having her cut up the watermelon while I stirred things on the stove was pleasant and civilized somehow. I felt less like a zookeeper and more like a hostess.
Going swimming at the Y. Quinn is the only child in the world who has never peed in a swimming pool. This is good, but it means at least once when we’re in the pool I have to take him out to use the bathroom, and depending on how busy the pool is I usually end up dragging both girls out to go with us. Plus having all three kids with me in the changing room can be a bit much.
I would say grocery shopping, even though it’s definitely easier to do that alone if there is someone to leave the kids with, but this is one area I have finally mastered, primarily due to the convenience of Aden being older. Aden pushes one cart with her brother in it, and they make up stories about the different food items in the cart (“Oooh! The watermelon is your new friend! Should it have a play date with the cheese?”) Mona pushes a second cart, and I walk ahead and pretend I’m trying to lose them as I look for what I need. If I act like they can’t keep up with me, they actually pay attention to where I am and stick pretty close. (This is especially handy in Target when they are getting pokey–I just slip into the next aisle saying, “They’ll never find me over here,” and next thing I know they are all at my side.)
Anyway, no matter how good I am about making them use the bathroom before we start shopping, someone has to pee by the time we are on the other end of the store. This used to make me insane because the hassle of getting everyone to the bathroom in time and leaving the cart outside the bathroom, etc. was never ever fun. Now either Aden can take herself, or take one of her siblings if they need to go, and they catch up with me in frozen foods. So it’s still an event to go shopping with all three kids all the time, but it’s never bad anymore. They don’t whine or cry, they are just slow and distracted because they are kids. I’m used to it, but I’m still looking forward to buying food by myself again from time to time.
I’m so lucky that most of my problems aren’t really problems. Life without Ian is inconvenient and not as much fun, but we still have a very nice life. It’s just not the life I want most. Many people never gets anywhere near this close to what they want, so I don’t take that lightly. Life is great. I can hardly believe it’s about to get better.
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