tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8654887465201994138.post7078098789823927040..comments2024-03-02T09:05:39.993-06:00Comments on Korinthia's Quiet Corner: The Knee Jerk NOKorinthiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15580286551375780490noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8654887465201994138.post-51051312550430130152016-04-19T06:28:25.788-05:002016-04-19T06:28:25.788-05:00It's hard to let yourself appreciate the noise...It's hard to let yourself appreciate the noise. Sometimes I DO put in earplugs because it's so wonderful that they are happy and want to laugh together and have a dance party in the living room but I just want quiet. There's something to teaching them appropriate times not to disturb others, and they do their best not to make noise if we're trying to sleep or if they know I have a headache, but normal happy kid sounds in the day... I do my best to let it go even if I have to grit my teeth a bit.Korinthiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15580286551375780490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8654887465201994138.post-36887628322641252172016-04-18T21:31:02.226-05:002016-04-18T21:31:02.226-05:00Hmmm. I am terrible about knee-jerk no and the sto...Hmmm. I am terrible about knee-jerk no and the stop, too. (Stop ALWAYS has to do with noise for me. I hate noise. This is in direct conflict with my desire to have happy children. I have no idea how to solve this short of getting custom earplugs!) Anyway... Thanks for the reminder to reflect s little before I say no, before I say stop. I tend to be firm and not back down much and it's not my favorite quality as a parent. There is room for flexibility in life and I'm trying to learn it.<br />-LisaLisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06351940065850639770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8654887465201994138.post-54402791213384089772016-04-16T21:31:47.308-05:002016-04-16T21:31:47.308-05:00I agree. I believe that with one child there is e...I agree. I believe that with one child there is enough flexibility that you can afford to ask him or her about what they want and be able to cater to it, but with more than one kid you stop asking and start telling, because there is rarely consensus and it makes more sense to simply decide things for everyone. <br /><br />And I think you're right that stress is a huge factor, and economic insecurity can cause a lot of that. One of the things I like about when all of us go to the cottage is that the only thing we ever have to decide anything about is what to eat at some point. It's "Yes" to pretty much everything when we're at the cottage because there is nothing to be stressed about most of the time. (I love it there!)Korinthiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15580286551375780490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8654887465201994138.post-7097405634562395632016-04-16T21:24:10.547-05:002016-04-16T21:24:10.547-05:00I think it's always healthy to reexamine rules...I think it's always healthy to reexamine rules based on context. Consistency is fine, but being reasonable and able to honor a higher good is often better. There's something kind of adorable about turning the chance to read on a Kindle in a certain chair into something a bit rebellious! Korinthiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15580286551375780490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8654887465201994138.post-60627247886529584562016-04-16T16:40:59.690-05:002016-04-16T16:40:59.690-05:00I very much agree with this --in fact, Emma and I ...I very much agree with this --in fact, Emma and I were just talking about this the other day. I think it's a rare parent who gets past the knee-jerk "no" when they have multiple kids, because that adds a layer of chaos in comparison to raising one --at least that's how it feels when I compare my own upbringing, with three siblings, to raising my daughter as an only. I suppose economics probably plays a role as well --parents who are poorer are often also more stressed. I think it's a lot easier to take the time to think about why your reaction is "no" when you're less stressed :-)Cassihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04058787761575567910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8654887465201994138.post-47648890311437691242016-04-16T11:05:35.885-05:002016-04-16T11:05:35.885-05:00I am a master of the knee-jerk no. Or the stop. Bu...I am a master of the knee-jerk no. Or the stop. But I'm also realizing, like you, that the power to stop that when it is nonsensical is totally within me. I try to employ it whenever I can. When the kids are doing something I want to say stop to. When they're asking to do something I want to say no to. Why am I saying either of those words? Usually the answer lies with some perceived effect on me: stop being loud so I can read in peace or no we can't go to that place because I don't feel like driving. But like Aden in bed, where is the true harm in saying yes when we can? (You also made me think about how "rules" can be transformed as we parent. My kids aren't allowed to have screens in the bedroom either (including TVs), but every now and then, there will be a Kindle or Nook taken to a bedroom chair and considering the time, the day, or just the kid, I will sometimes overlook it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17380634814226907330noreply@blogger.com